Sherlock has struck again. He just forwarded me a text that was sent to him from a young lady who wanted to get to know him a little better. There is very little I can print because it is SO graphic. However, in the spirit of dedicated, married fathers being torturing by their single friends with their stories of sexcapades and horizontal conquests, here is another “notch on the bedpost.”
(Direct text to Sherlock) “I’m quite [BLEEP] and [BLEEP] already thinking about you delivering those kisses. I’m wishing I was working from home, so I could go touch my [BLEEP] and rub my [BLEEP] and [BLEEP] my [BLEEP] in and out [BLEEP] and [BLEEP] with pleasure!…”
“…I’d [BLEEP] alright, would love to know! You better be sure to wear goggles! ;-)”
“…Then after I [BLEEP] all over I’d want you to push me down to the [BLEEP] and [BLEEP] your [BLEEP] [BLEEP] into my [BLEEP] [BLEEP], pushing deeper and deeper with each [BLEEP] so I can feel you fully [BLEEP] and reacting to each [BLEEP] and [BLEEP]!”
Sherlock’s final comment to me was – “Haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to invite her to visit, but sounds like it would be quite a fun trip if she did!”
What you just read are texts from a woman who either, A) Just finished reading her copy of “50 Shades of Grey” or, B) An imaginative (and limber) woman who really would like to spend some “quality time” with my friend.
In contrast, here are a few examples of texts that I (a happily married man with children) get from GWE:
“Forgot my Blackberry charger.”
“The 405 is ssssllloooowwwww today.”
“Miss you already”
I know! The differences between the two types of texts are subtle. But, I’m sure you’ll see how they differ given some time.
Honestly, I hope “she” shows up to Sherlock’s house with a five o’clock shadow and an Adam’s apple the size of a basketball.