This man is bringing home “fast food.” If he’s not fast, they won’t be food.
Recently, I’ve become addicted to a quintessentially British cooking show from the ’90s called “Escape to River Cottage.” The recommendation was given to me as a cure for insomnia. It’s effect was quite the opposite. I’m hooked and can’t get enough of this show. The concept is simple: what happens when a professional chef moves to the middle of nowhere and begins living a farm-to-table life? There are a lot of unintentionally, funny moments.
In an effort to spend more time together, Justin has begun watching these cooking shows by my side. What we saw made us laugh and cringe all at once. To Justin, the name “Charlie” now elicits a visceral reaction of small tears and uncomfortable laughter.
Early in the program, the host decided that gardening was great, but that he needed more protein in his meals. (There were only so many pigeons he could shoot off of his neighbors roof to eat. No joke!) He decided to buy a pig. However, the pig farmer was insistent on two rules:
- A pig cannot live alone. It needs a companion. Preferably, many. (The host settled on two pigs, but really only wanted one.) And, more importantly:
- Do not name the pig! It would make it harder to do what needed to be done…in the end.
The host honored the first rule, but broke the second one by the end of the first day. He named one pig, “Charlie.”
Watching the host befriend the pig and then over time realize what he’d have to do to the pig is one of the funniest and saddest things we’ve ever watched.
Ultimately, we could not watch the “pork” episode. Justin and I talked about it a lot and we imagined the host eating his friend while tears streamed down his face as he screamed, “CHARLIEEEEEEEEEEE” with bits of meat falling out of his mouth.
Ever since we started watching that show, on the rare occasion we saw or ate pork, Justin and I would fake scream, “CHARLIEEEEEEEEE!!” We would laugh uncontrollably.
And then, I pulled out the slow cooker!
The small note reads: “Hi! My name is Charlie!”
Honestly, this meal was delicious and entertaining as we chewed slowly while randomly screaming out, “CHARLIEEEEEEEEE!!!!”