Let the Defiance Begin!!

Posted on: Sunday, May 19th, 2013

One afternoon, GWE asked Garrett to say “Ma-Ma.” With a twinkle of mischief in his eye (and possibly a loaded diaper), Garrett began to show his defiance with a sense of humor. Enjoy!

Thanks to Uncle Ethan for figuring out how to get this audio clip uploaded!

May

2013

I Can’t Get My Kids to Take Drugs!

Posted on: Sunday, May 5th, 2013

Is it still considered "Pier Pressure" when it's the parents forcing the drugs on the children???

Is it still considered “Peer Pressure” when it’s the parent forcing the drugs on their own child???

In my house, our kids have taken “Just say ‘no’ to drugs” way too far. While I do appreciate that my 1 1/2 year old son has said, “ARBAGOH-WEE” (translation: “No”) to crack, LSD, heroin, ‘shrooms, and Kitty Tranquilizers. GWE and I have had the hardest time getting Garrett to take his antibiotics!!

Garrett is free and clear of his conjunctivitis now, but getting one medicine into his mouth and another medicine into his eyes almost broke us physically and emotionally. I couldn’t help but feel like I was “Antibiotic Water-Boarding” my own kid.

My first mistake was trying to give him the medicine by myself. The first time I did it, I stood in the parking lot of the pharmacy and attempted to jam medicine into Garrett while he was strapped into his car seat. He knew what was coming and he clamped his mouth and eyes shut. He then screamed bloody murder, punched me a number of times, and cried ALOT. (I can only imagine what other people thought as they walked past us.) We ended up with more medicine on us than inside of him.

GWE pulled into the parking lot 15 minutes later and found us both dazed and bewildered. I was slumped over in the driver’s seat exhausted, sweating, and depressed that Garrett hated me for what I tried to do to him. Garrett continued to kick my seat all the while screaming at me – “DA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA.”

Luckily, from that point on, GWE and I joined forces in order to get him to take his medicine. I held his hands back (like he was about to receive electroshock therapy) and GWE shoved the syringe into the back of his mouth and squirted. Garrett became the master of hiding his tongue in the back of his mouth and then pushing the medicine forward through his teeth and out his mouth just as GWE removed he syringe. We ended up with medicine everywhere. Thanks to Garrett’s regurgitation technique, these are the following things that won’t get conjunctivitis now: his highchair, my hands, GWE’s hands, the floor, one of my shirts, GWE’s hair, and my rear tire and hubcap (I blame GWE for that one.)

Needless to say, GWE and I are still traumatized.

Does anyone know if it’s illegal to chloroform a child under two in order to get medicine into their body without a fight?

May

2013

Vacation vs. Vacation (with Kids)

Posted on: Thursday, May 2nd, 2013

Here is what a normal vacation looks like:

What a lovely view!

vs.

Here is what a vacation with my kids looks like: (same view)

When can I go back to work so I can relax???

April

2013

Domo Arigato, Justin’s Roboto!

Posted on: Monday, April 22nd, 2013

Should I be worried that Justin is calling his Project “Sky Net?” (It’s a “Terminator” reference. Look it up.)

As my sister accurately assessed, Justin is the son my parents always wanted. Allow me to explain….My father is a Dentist (Science) and my mother is a Dental Hygienist (Science), plus she still does the office accounting (Math). They were blessed with a son who had no scientific aspirations and an amazing inability to add or subtract correctly. (To this day, I can still add 2 plus 2 and get 5.) However, Justin has begun to excel in his science and math studies! Even though he is in Kindergarten, he has begun working on fractions and a few weeks ago he excitedly told me about the molecules he built in science class using marshmallows and pretzel sticks.

In an effort to foster his love of science and math, we signed him up for a Robotics Class on Saturday mornings. This past Saturday was his first class. Together, we walked into the classroom and met one of the instructors. She sat Justin down and began to instruct him on what he would be doing. Each child was given a box of “Brain” parts and “Body” parts. They were told to follow the step-by-step construction directions on the iPad in front of them and then program the “Brain” to control the body. I stood in the corner talking pictures and video. It was very exciting.

As soon as the instructor walked away, Justin mouthed the word “HELP” and motioned for me to come over. I quickly walked over to him and began to “assist” him in the construction of his robot. After a few moments, I looked up and discovered a stern-looking woman in the doorway motioning for me to come and speak with her. I told Justin I would be right back and exited the room.

The woman began to chastise me that I was NOT to help Justin in any way. They were fine with me taking pictures and video, but I was not to interact with my child AT ALL! She continued to tell me in a harsh and fairly inappropriate tone that Justin needed to do this on his own so that they would be able to better assess his ability and learning level. Part of me wanted to say, “I’m paying for this and you can kiss my ass if you think I’m not going to help my kid…WHO JUST ASKED FOR MY HELP?” The other part of me thought that maybe I was being a “Helicopter Parent” (one who continually hovers over his child) and that maybe I should walk away.

So – I can’t really blog about the outcome of this adventure because I was asked to leave. I don’t know how it ended!! GWE was allowed to stay with Justin and see his final product, while I was relegated to sitting in the car in the parking lot with Garrett.

According to GWE, it was amazing and Justin built a robot that drove around in a square. Here is the video:

I have been asked to leave many classrooms in my academic career. I didn’t realize it would be possible to get kicked out of my kid’s classes as well!!