Free Giveaway to TWO Readers!!

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I am giving away a brand new book to TWO readers of this blog. If you or someone you know is having concerns about a child’s speech or literacy development, please contact me with your address and I will ship one of these books to you (completely free of cost.)

Now that I am a DBI (Dad Blogger of Influence), I’ve been asked to review products that parents may find useful. I was recently asked to review a book entitled, “Beyond Baby Talk” – a guide to language and literacy development. I will be honest…I did not read the book in its entirety. Instead, I jumped around to the chapters that I felt would be of most use to me. I was very happy to find that it had extensive information regarding a child’s language development between the ages of 2 to 4.

When Justin was much younger, his daycare suggested that we should have his speech, hearing, and cognitive abilities tested. They believed that his “baby talk” (while completely appropriate for his age) may have been a sign of developmental issues. As new parents, we had no idea what to do with this information. We went online for advice, but the websites on this topic were either contradictory to one another or self-serving (“Buy My Product”) to whoever was doing the posting. Ultimately, we had him tested through LAUSD and then again through a specialty program (which we ended up working with for about a year) that I was referred to after tracking down the President of the Pediatric Speech Therapy organization for her recommendation.

The point here is – I wish I had a book like “Beyond Baby Talk” at that time to give us guidance on what to look for developmentally. Sometimes, you don’t know what you don’t know. If you need this book, just let me know and I will ship one to you!

He’s No R. Kelly!

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While on the way to Justin’s first school chorus performance, Justin and I were immaturely joking around in the car. We…………….. (ahem)…ok, I was being immature and using potty humor with Justin – but he was laughing hysterically, so he instigated my behavior. He made me do it.

I asked Justin how he would feel if I ran up on stage, turned around, pulled down my pants and mooned the audience while he was singing. He giggled and giggled. I then asked him if I could run up, moon the audience, and then flap my butt cheeks. He laughed out loud. Finally, I asked if him if it would be ok if I ran up on stage in the middle of his performance, mooned the audience, and then started farting along with the music. He convulsed with laughter.

When he finally caught his breath, he said, “Daddy – you need to run up on stage, pull down your pants, and then pee pee on everyone.” Together, we howled at this sick potty humor. We had no intention of doing these things. We’re men and these things simply make us laugh.

What you should also know is that Justin and I have our own, non-verbal language. It started years ago with me pointing to my eye, then my head, then towards him, and finally pinching my nose. (“I think you stink.”) He sends me similar messages as well.

However, I was not prepared for how far Justin was about to take our potty humor from the car in combination with our non-verbal language this past Sunday morning moments before getting on stage with his classmates.

While standing in between two female classmates, Justin waved at me to get my attention. He then mimicked pulling down his pants, grabbed his “Little Justin”, and fake peed on those around him – all while smiling directly at me.

My first reaction was massively inappropriate – I fell over laughing. I tried to compose myself as I raced over to him (while still laughing). I told him that he could not do that…we would both get in trouble. He did it a second time just as my mother-in-law came over to wish him luck. I’m pretty sure I was in more trouble at that moment than he was. With her help, we successfully got him to stop just moments before going on stage. (While sitting at lunch a little later, I was able to explain to her what led up to Justin’s mime act.)

I’ve learned a very important lesson here (both personally and professionally) – my pep talks to the “talent” need to be a little less graphic!

The Tooth Is Out There

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The tooth is out! This morning Justin came up to me and said that his tooth was really loose. When he opened his mouth to show me, I could see that it was jutting straight out and had detached a little on the side. I assured him that “today was the day.”

He wiggled, wiggled, wiggled his tooth while watching cartoons this morning. He wiggled, wiggled, wiggled his tooth while eating breakfast. He even wiggled, wiggled, wiggled his tooth while getting dressed.

Finally, I marched him into our master bathroom. GWE (with ice-cold blood in her veins and nerves of steel), grabbed a tissue, reached into Justin’s mouth, and plucked out the tooth. He could not have been more excited.

The tooth is currently under his pillow. Before I go to sleep tonight, I will be making the “Tooth Fairy Switch.” In addition to leaving him some money, I’ll also be leaving him a note from the Tooth Fairy. I’m very interested in seeing what his reaction is tomorrow!

 

 

The Big “Uno”

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Today is Garrett Logan Priluck’s first birthday. Or, as I like to refer to it, the first anniversary of the second time I got a peek at my wife’s internal organs.

I have spent a whole year with this “stranger” in the house and I’ve learned a lot about him. These are just a few of the things that I now know about my son:

1)      He has a dance move called, “The Garrett” – he puts his arms straight out and ‘flaps’ them as fast as possible back and forth towards his body when he gets excited.

2)      He is a non-stop drool machine. Garrett is like a snail. Just follow the trail of slime and you will find him at the end of it.

3)      He will get your attention by slamming his legs down repeatedly.

4)      He is always happy, even when he is sick. I’ve never seen a happier child (with the exception of Justin.)

5)      When he crawls into my room and settles near my nightstand, he always pulls out the same book – “Tales from The Far Side.” (I guess he likes talking cows.)

6)      His guilty pleasure is to sneak into his big brother’s room while no one is watching. He likes to prop himself up on the stool or play with the fake sword cover.

7)      He will eat anything. Baby food, pizza, pasta, hummus, chili, etc. It’s just a waiting game to see what he can digest and what he can’t. We affectionately call this, “When did Garrett eat corn!?!?!?”

8)      He likes to do “Super Baby” (me lifting him in the air while laying on my back on the master bed.) After he ‘lands’, he immediately rolls over and tries to climb back on top of my chest for another ride. However, he usually gets tired and ends up sitting on my face.

9)     Garrett’s attempts at kissing include him using his teeth (and biting.)

10)   Garrett prefers to be naked. (Who doesn’t?)

11)   He desperately wants Justin’s green television remote control. In fact, he wants it so badly that he is willing to put himself in harm’s way to get it. (Justin has shown great restraint. He has not whupped his little brother’s ass over this issue….yet.)

12)   He has a fascination with my bathroom. He just likes being in there. I have no idea why.

It has been a fantastic year of getting to know Garrett. He is sweet, loud, gentle, funny, strong, cute, and produces the foulest poops you could ever imagine. Happy Birthday, Monkey!!

Sherlock and The Case of Too Many Play Dates

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If you’ve been a follower of this blog, then you know about my friend “Sherlock.” Every dad has a “Sherlock” in his life. He’s the single, male friend who somehow manages to have (and happily tell you stories of) the debaucherous sex life that you were never able to have  – even when you were single!

A few days ago, I checked in with Sherlock to see if he had any interesting stories for me. He sent me a text he had recently received from a girl: “”I do want to see you, don’t think I don’t but lately I’ve been having crazy hours at work… Just know that this week won’t end without my lips tasting yours .” I told him that this was pretty pedestrian and I could get this from my wife. He needed to step it up!

Several days later, I got another text from him at 10:30 in the morning. He had partially redeemed himself. It seems as though he had a “guest” spend the night after an evening of poolside cocktails. At some point, she told him that she was “closed for maintenance,” however…um…how can I put is delicately….uhhhh….she informed him that she was happy to have him “plant his flag on the dark side of the moon.” (I really could not find a nicer way to say it. I’m sorry, but I tried.)

And, while that does earn him a (very dirty) gold star – it’s the next texts from him that I found impressive. He was still in the process of waking up from the previous night’s adventure and he was telling me about the lunch he was off to with his French lesbian friends who wanted to hook him up with their French straight girlfriends. And then the bastard sent me pictures….pictures I cannot share with you.

I’ll put this in a way only dads will understand: “He was getting ready to go to a play date to discuss future play dates while still on a play date!”

You Want the Tooth??? You Can’t Handle the Tooth!!

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Yesterday morning, Justin was sitting on the sofa next to me watching cartoons while eating a pear. All of a sudden, he turned towards me and said, “Daddy, I think my tooth is loose.” I told him that it was very possible and I asked him to show me which tooth he was referring to. I reached into his mouth, wiggled his tooth, and confirmed that he was correct! We both marched into the master bedroom to show GWE.

I told him that there were a number of ways to get his tooth out. I offered to punch him in the face. He laughed and said, “No, daddy.” I then offered to tie some dental floss around his tooth and then tie the other end to the door and then I’d slam the door shut. He laughed some more and said “That’s silly!!” Papa Jeff (a dentist, mind you) suggested tying the dental floss around his tooth, then tying the other end to my car’s bumper – but, only after sterilizing the bumper first. And then, I would simply have to “drive off” with his tooth. Given the options, Justin decided to continue wiggling it with his tongue until it falls out on its own.

The picture you see above is clearly staged. However, it almost became the real thing! I thought GWE was holding Garrett while we were setting this up. What I didn’t know was that Garrett was on the floor right behind me. At one point, the dental floss fell off Justin’s tooth and as I learned over to grab it…Garrett darted between my legs, reached for the door, and slammed it shut. Had Justin’s tooth still been in the “Dental Floss Noose” – it might have been yanked out for real!!

As of today, the tooth is still in Justin’s mouth. When it falls out, we’ll let you know!