It's not a "Pants Party!" It's just a little "Diaper Depravity!"
It’s not a “Pants Party!” It’s just a little “Diaper Depravity!”

Garrett does not believe in stuffed animal monogamy. He prefers to have two, three, and sometimes four stuffed animal partners in his crib with him at any given nap. I’ve walked in to find him asleep with Mickey sitting on his face and a stuffed penguin between his legs…while Pooh watches. Between the multiple partners and the constant napping, Greatest Wife Ever and I agree that it’s like living with a baby Hugh Hefner.

This past Sunday, GWE sent the me following text messages while I was out running errands:  

GWE: Garrett is currently having a crib party with “Hug Me, Elmo.”

Me: It’s not a party until they ask Chica (the Chicken) to join them!

GWE: Chica and Lotso (from “Toy Story 3”) are in there too! The squeals are hilarious.

ME: Afterwards, it’s going to be the “Diaper Change of Shame.”

GWE: Someone just banged their head against the wall, or Elmo possibly got thrown out. Not sure.

Me: Elmo likes it rough!

GWE: I can still hear Elmo talking, Garrett is grunting.

(Pause)

GWE: Elmo just said “that’s too tight!.” OMG!!

Me: Hahahaha

GWE: When do I go in there and get Elmo? Garrett will never go to sleep.

(Pause)

GWE: Now Garrett is singing-talking and making “H” and “Heese” sounds. All kinds of sounds….

GWE: “Ooh Ooh!! Ooh Hhh!”

GWE: Lots of squealing again.

GWE: Now singing deed um be dee bedum de dee be de bade bade ba da bee…

GWE: Okay, Elmo has left the room, unhappy Garrett.

And that is how GWE broke up Garrett’s “Crib Courtship and Consummation.” I’d be unhappy too if my mother barged into my room and kicked out someone I was playing “Tickle Me” with!

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