I Am The Voice of My Generation…But, You Shouldn’t Listen to Me!

The Lost Generation had Ernest Hemingway, T.S. Elliot, and F. Scott Fitzgerald. The Beat Generation had Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs, and Jack Kerouac. And apparently, The Huffington Post‘s “thorough” research team believe that I am one of the voices of Generation X AND that I am an expert in “Friendship.” (Yes….you read that correctly.)

I am Gen X Daddy. I am a member of “Generation X” raising two members of “Generation More-Screwed-Than-Us.” What is Generation X? We are a group of individuals born to “Baby Boomers” in the late 60’s, 70’s and early 80’s. Typically, we are apathetic, cynical, and disaffected, yet –  independent and comfortable with cultural diversity (thank you, Sesame Street!) We were the first generation to integrate technology into our daily lives and the last to know what a rotary phone was. But, why am I “Gen X Daddy?” Because that domain was not taken yet when I decided to start this blog!

So – imagine my surprise when I was contacted one morning by The Huffington Post asking if I would be a “Gen X” spokesperson for a panel on “Friendship.” Specifically, they wanted to know my thoughts on a recent survey (which I was unaware of) explaining that Baby Boomers and Gen X-ers have fewer and less meaningful friendships than Seniors and Millennials.

They could not have found a more inappropriate guest than me. Honestly, I don’t make friends easily and I’m terrible at maintaining those friendships I do have. Having me comment on “Friendship” is like asking a vegetarian how they want their steak prepared. When I called my wife to tell her what I was being asked to do, it was met with deafening silence and then a “Whaaaaaa??????”

In retrospect, I think some producer at The Huffington Post was in a panic for a guest…typed “Gen X” into her internet search command…and then found my blog. Clearly, she never read it. Otherwise, she would have realized that all I do is tell silly stories about my kids. (And she would have seen that my last name was spelled “P-R-I-L-U-C-K!”)

I can’t be the “Voice of My Generation” because the only thing my “voice” keeps saying is, “Stop hurting your brother!”

How Much Love and Respect Can I Get In Exchange for a Gummy Bear?

On Friday, Justin will be coming to the office with me for the first time. He’s never seen where I work. He has seen me roll calls from the house, yell at people, pitch clients, and close deals from my cell phone (mostly in the car,) but he has never seen me in action in my own environment. Tomorrow will be interesting for the both of us.

On many occasions, Justin has been to GWE’s offices. When he visited her office, he spent the day meeting all of her co-workers, watched TV, playing with his/my iPad, and napping. And, each time he came home, he would tell me stories of the free snacks and sodas at mommy’s office. He loved the idea of being able to walk up to a counter in her office and take whatever treats he wanted…and it was encouraged!

It dawned on me this morning, that I needed to impress my own son at the office. As you can see from the picture below, all I had to impress Justin with was a blender and some Johnnie Walker Black Label. (And, let’s be honest, what 6 year old doesn’t like Johnnie Walker on the rocks at 10am?)

Kitchen1Before arriving at the office this morning, I made a slight detour and picked up some things I knew he would like. I decided to treat Justin’s arrival at the office as if it were a client signing meeting! Instead of printing tracking grids, project notes, and a “hit list” of the producers and directors I planned on calling on his behalf, I decided to “sign” my son with Gummy Bears and BBQ chips and all the soda his bladder could contain.

kitchen2Kitchen3He is going to spend the day “buzzed” from caffeine or he’ll spend it crashing from the sugar rush! Either way, I will have bought my son’s love and affection for 1 work day….and I’m okay with that.

Pestering Celebrities on Behalf of My Son!

tom2As I’ve mentioned before on this blog (click here to see), Justin is a huge fan of “America’s Funniest Home Videos” with Tom Bergeron (or as Justin says, “Fur-geron.”) To Justin’s way of thinking, Tom is not only the host of the show, but he must also be the person who selects each video and chooses who wins the grand prize each week! GWE and I have even witnessed Justin talking to the television during the show as if Tom Bergeron could hear him.

Since I represent celebrities, a “star sighting” is a daily occurrence and not that unusual. And, since my wife does a lot with the Television Academy here in Los Angeles, she is not immune to the occasional sighting as well. Fortunately, we were together when we ran into Tom Bergeron at a Television Academy event (where two of my clients were presenting!)

We could not pass up this opportunity. When Tom was done with the Red Carpet, GWE pulled him aside…explained who we were (not lunatic stalkers)…explained that our son was an “AFV Uber-fan”…and politely asked if we could take a picture with him for Justin. He happily agreed. (GWE even went on to explain our son’s mis-pronunciation of Tom’s last name. He laughed and told us a few of the variations he had heard as well.)

The following morning, GWE and I walked into the living room and found Justin playing on a iPad while sitting on the sofa. We asked him to put the iPad away so that we could show him something. GWE pulled up the picture and showed it to Justin.

At first there was a mild recognition of what he was looking at. After a few seconds, it finally hit him and his eyes almost popped out of his skull. I could see the synapses in his brain exploding.

“YOU MET TOM FUR-GERON????????” asked Justin.

“Yes, we did!” exclaimed GWE. “And, we told him all about you and that you were a fan of his.”

“Cooooooooooooool.” he responded.

Justin looked at the picture one more time, smiled….and then went back to playing on the iPad as if nothing had happened.

My Kid Is On The List. I Am Not.

Justin and Gio

Justin and his buddy, Gio!

If you’re a follower of this site, then you know that I’m doing my best to keep my kids from becoming “Hollywood Kids.” What is a “Hollywood Kid?” It’s a child whose parent(s) work in the entertainment industry and therefore have access to parties, celebrities, and “perks” that a normal child (or adult, for that matter) would not have access to. There is a difference between going to a kid’s birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese and taking your kid to the premiere of the latest Disney movie.

A few weeks ago, GWE mentioned that she had an invite to attend the Hall of Game Awards that were being hosted by Cartoon Network. The invitation was also being extended to Justin because GWE’s friend was bringing her son as well. Since it was going to be a kid friendly event, I had no issues with Justin attending.

The morning after the event, GWE showed me the pictures she had taken. The first was a picture of my wife standing next to Shaquille O’Neal. He had his arm around her like she was his prom date. Just look at his hand!! I turned to her and commented, “You know what they say – once you go Shaq…” She was not amused.

Audra and Shaq

GWE (with my possible replacement!)

The next 20 – 30 pictures were of Justin playing in the hotel’s “pre-event” waiting room, riding on a bus to the airplane hanger/sound stage, hanging out with celebrities, playing games, and having a fantastic time. There is even a great picture of him with a celebrity his size! Here he is with Sam Gordon – the 9 year old football phenom. (Check her out here!)

Justin and Sam

Justin found a girl who knows how to “score!”

I walked over to Justin and asked, “Did you have a good time at the show yesterday?” He nodded and then uttered the five words I was hoping I would never hear from my 6 year old, “The Post Party was awesome!”

“Oh…Crap.” I thought.

The first time I heard the term “Post Party” was when I was a 20 year old assistant at a small talent agency. I was invited to a film premiere by a young starlet who brought me to her film’s “After Party” and then lured me to a “Post Party” at a massive house in the Hollywood Hills. I was young and stupid and didn’t understand that the purpose of a “Post Party” was for all of the ‘cool kids’ to be able to continue to party in ways that the general public probably would not approve of. It’s one thing when you know what you’re about to get yourself into. It’s a little different when you unexpectedly find yourself at the crossroads where “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” meets “Caligula.” Ok….from what I remember – it really was a fun night.

It was now 17 years later and I found myself sitting next to my six year old son who was still recovering from the sensory overload of a high octane party that included pumping music, blinding strobe lights, a never-ending candy buffet, and a celebrity smorgasbord. That was his “post party.” I kept thinking to myself….I hope he likes the cold weather because I’m about send him to the East Coast where he can spend the next 13 years living with his Aunt and Uncle and far away from the influences of Hollywood!!

We Located Endeavour’s Gas Leak!

ShuttleA few weeks ago, we were invited to an event at the California Science Center. GWE has a college friend who now works for a prestigious law firm. They hosted a private event for the families of their clients in the temporary enclosure that currently houses the Space Shuttle Endeavour!! As we walked into the room, we found ourselves astonished by its sheer size. It is truly an incredible feat of engineering.

Realizing that there would be children at the event, the coordinators were smart enough to have scientific demonstrations every 20 to 30 minutes. While GWE spent time mingling, Justin and I wandered over to one the demonstration tables.

Two young “scientists” were standing at a table holding a small bouquet of flowers. As we walked up to them, they asked Justin what he thought would happen if they dunked the flowers into dry ice. He correctly responded, “They’d freeze.”  To prove his theory correct, they put the flowers in the dry ice for 10 seconds and then pulled them out. Justin and I saw the steam coming off the top of the flowers and the frozen drops of dew stuck to each petal.

However, neither of us were prepared for the next part of the demonstration. One of the scientists looked at Justin again and asked, “Are you sure they’re frozen? Let’s check.” Then, he slammed the flowers down on the table and they actually shattered into hundreds of pieces.


My immediate reaction was, “CCCOOOOLLLL!” However, I only got to “CCCCOOO…..”

I was cut off by Justin’s reaction. Apparently, he was so excited by the smashed flowers that he could not contain himself and he blasted a long and loud fart which echoed all throughout the shuttle chamber. There was no hiding which excited child had “blasted off.” I did my best to suppress my laughter, but could not contain myself. I politely smiled at the scientists, thanked them for their time, and escorted my hysterically laughing child away to a less populated part of the building as to not offend the $1000/per hour attorneys.

Next time you see the Space Shuttle Endeavour, just know that remnants of my son’s fart are now a part of its long and glorious history!

I think I see a lotta lawbreakers up in this Blog tonight…

Each of us have “defining moments.” These are the moments when something so profound happens to us that we are affected for the rest of our lives. For example, I remember the moment I met my wife. That was a “defining moment” because it affected so many other things (including the creation of other, smaller human beings many years later.) Another “defining moment” of mine was the moment I decided not to get into a car with some friends from high school during my junior year because I didn’t trust the driver. l discovered that they were involved in a car accident later that afternoon and I could have been seriously injured – thereby, possibly affecting (or ending) what could have been.  I also remember the “defining moment” of hating a job and a boss so badly that I knew I had to take control of my own career.

I would like to present you a moment in Justin’s life that could be considered a “defining moment.” Let’s call this moment “Dancing with Mommy.” How could an innocent moment dancing with mommy to a video game affect the rest of his life? Well, let’s see….

Based on what I witnessed, Justin either has the potential to discover that he could be a great dancer like Gene Kelly or Mikhail Baryshnikov….or, my wife has just taught our son how to ‘shake it’ for screaming women and dirty money like he was “Magic Mike.” (By the way, the sound of destruction coming from the background is Garrett…giving his stuffed animals a lap-dance!)

I was leaning towards the classier end of the dancing spectrum until I witnessed my son do “The Moonshine!”  You decide!